The Pre Lon Podcast Episode Reflection
Listening to this podcast episode titled Listen to The Pre Lon Podcast Episode 130: A Reading of * * , I recall many things from reading Marcel Proust’s * *. During my university years, I read the first three volumes and and later completed the fifth volume . Though I didn’t read quickly or deeply, I found that many paragraphs were vividly remembered when closing my eyes. In my first year of college, while reading the second volume , I kept a notebook and often copied important passages. While I was studying in my hometown’s for university, I frequently used the air conditioner there.
During my university years, I developed the habit of copying excerpts that impressed me. At that time, I didn’t realize what copying did to methinking it was merely copying beautiful sentences to enjoy the beauty. Upon re-reading them later, I discovered that I had not copied any particularly striking passages others might remember; instead, I copied those that felt familiar as if they were written from my memory. To me (and perhaps to Proust himself), what matters is what lies withinpast experiences and memories are more important than future events or actions already gone.
Proust truly recreated past times in his own unique way. While reading his works, I often imagined standing beside the symbolic tree of life, gazing at time displayed there. Time did not flow; it was not chained together but spread out like space. For me (and perhaps for him as well), what’s essential is not about the outside world or future events but about the past experiences and memories we hold dear.
We have the freedom to construct our inner worlds and order them, allowing us to seek eternal peace within. From my university days onward, I read many books like towering mountains, each with its own interest and focus. However, my attention waned as interests shifted over time, accompanied by people coming and going. The world is vast, filled with beauty that captivates the senses, yet it seems disconnected from me. I feel I can no longer connect with others through words or memories.
After repeatedly questioning what satisfies my emotional needs, this episode of the podcast caught my attention but paused midway because the doors of memory were already open for me. I realized that understanding the world is done through words and memory, and I prefer to swallow everything whole before slowly savoring it in the realm of memory and text. My emotions are surrounded by a cold distance, as if the process of internalization is too lengthy. For me, time stands stilltheres no past or future; time ended when my journey into the world began anew alone.
Perhaps aspects like our sense of beauty, personality, talents, or destiny are stubborn and unchanging in some ways. Even though others’ words might be meant to inspire and guide me, Ive found that attempting to learn, accept, and appreciate them doesnt change their fundamental naturethey remain parallel to my own existence. Regarding meaning, relationships, happiness, and joy, theres a cacophony of opinions, and I join in merely because it seems convenient. I should have acknowledged earlier that concepts like these are not what truly fulfill me; perhaps I long for eternal peace and tranquility alone.
Thankfully, Proust has deeply impacted my perspective on beauty and life, offering a solace through his words. It wasnt until later that I fully realized how much he shaped my aesthetic understanding, which in turn influenced my personality and choices throughout my life.
