Understanding Social and Emotional Needs
When chatting with others, I’ve come to realize some of my tendenciesperhaps I channel my work-related stress through casual conversations with friends, even though I detest having multiple people around me. Socializing with colleagues at work can help alleviate work pressure, while talking to friends who are part of real-life connections can provide comfort in dealing with life’s stresses. Engaging in meaningful dialogue with someone whose views and perspectives align closely with mine might effectively address internal mental strain caused by conflicting thoughts or ideasthough I haven’t yet found the right person for this.
From time to time, we all end up sharing stories over a drink after work, though much of what we say often remains fuzzy and vague. Reflecting on these interactions, I realize that the more deeply we connect with one anotherand the longer our conversations stretchthe more we tend to feel isolated, desiring instead to dive into our favorite books or comics. The mere act of speaking seems to drain away our energy, leaving us feeling as though everything has turned black-and-whitelike stuck within a confined space, unable to escape. The more we converse with others, the stronger our sense of self becomes; the more we communicate with people who differ from us in almost every way, the greater the chasm between us grows.
I find myself longing for deeper conversations with othersI long to share my thoughts and feelings with someone elsebut whenever such opportunities arise, my expectations quickly become unfulfilled. I fear that by trying too hard to connect with others, I risk alienating themor even separating myself from those very individuals who can best help me deal with the complexities of my own emotions. The mere presence of another person often leaves me feeling and unable to fully engage in the conversation.
In many cases, it’s unclear how one’s social needs relate to their emotional needs, nor is there a clear understanding of whether these needs are inherently good or bad. Since we all have unmet social needs, however, it seems likely that we will always be driven to fulfill them at the expense of our own well-beingwhether intentionally or not. Though we might attempt to change ourselves, we often find ourselves unable to achieve lasting positive change.
At some point in time, I must admit that I don’t know how one can truly connect with othersor whether such a thing is even possible. Since human beings are inherently different from one another, perhaps it’s pointless attempting to bridge these gapsboth within and beyond our immediate environment. I wonder if we’re all too wrapped up in our own individual worlds to notice the true depth of others’ feelingsbut if that’s the case, then perhaps we’re failing to understand each other.
In the end, there must be limits to the extent to which we can push ourselvesor force othersinto acting in a way that satisfies us.
